new music (to me)
I am loving this new Elizabeth Shepherd album, and I know I am way past the times, but I am getting into all the previous Andrew Bird albums. I have his most recent (Noble Beast), but theres so much more. Plus, being a Bedouin Sound Clash fan, I am excited about Jay Malinowski’s new album. New music is so inspiring.
Im eating some re-toasted waffles, and waiting to steep some really dark tea to see if I can dye my raw canvas before writing more sacred scriptures on it.I should be doing some work searching for design jobs. I am working on building my network so I can return to doing architectural work in a way that fits my life. Yeah, it could be a long journey.
I am having a few internal debates. One that I have daily involves how much I should pick up after my family. I grew up in a home that embraced chaos, and I just feel out of my element when I try to keep a tidy home. I dont know how much to ask kids to help – I mean I always ASK, its just If I waited for them to help, I fear that the chaos will overwhelm us. I also feel that it is easier for them to understand and appreciate order if they experience it, then they can participate in a simpler way. My goal is to have a calm, clutter free home, that all of us participate in maintaining. I also want my children to grow up being able to look after their own things. I tolerate more chaos than many of my friends, but sometimes I feel that tolerance is what creates this cycle of me basically running around my home in circles, picking stuff up as fast as I can, before the tornado (two kids) catches up to me. Can you relate?
Hmm. Maybe this is a design issue.
I do edit what toys are out, but it doesnt seem to be enough. Plus, favorite activites are just messy. Maybe I need to be specific about what play activities will happen, where, and have specific supplies/toys for them. If I dont have toys out, then the kitchen pots and pans, food from the fridge, the flour and all the non-perishables become the toys. Thats cool, but maybe if I had a plan, it would be easier. I need to really take a firm grip on organizing the craft supplies. that would really help. I think.
OK. too much info. sorry. Just processing out loud. That probably makes for a lame blog post, but I am open to suggestions. I would love to be a fly on the wall of folks who seem to have all this together… is there someone with a whip getting kids to clean? how much is mom REALLY picking up after people? how many hours a day are spent cleaning in a home of two pre-schoolers? what are the patterns/habits/underlying conditions that exist to live in creativity as well as sanity? huh? just asking.
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:38 am
Hi, Angie!
I think people are a LOT messier than they let on in blogland.
One friend with a neat house said once that she is always cleaning something. Just constantly picking up stuff or cleaning things as she is doing other things. I try, honestly, I do, but it doesn’t work for me, either.
Have you seen all the baskets in my house? We hide stuff…
March 23rd, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I think so to. Actually I HOPE so. or then I feel totally inadequate. I do think that some people have clean habits that I just dont have, and have to learn from scratch. Cleaning constantly is becoming the only possible solution though. I just wonder if the rest of my family has any idea how much I pick up after them? It disturbs me to think I may be perpetuating their slobiness by my habitual cleaning. Anyways, your place seems clean to me – and I was so inspired by your freezer! I am totally freezing farmers-market veges this year.
March 25th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
I started reading your blog and as I got further down, found this note. This is an interesting dilemma Angie, especially for young moms. I certainly struggled with it when the girls were young. So here’s my 2 cents worth from personal experience.
1) See the end at the beginning:
I’ve turned many times to Baha’i writings for guidance on all sorts of topics and found my source of inspiration there. Of course, “how to’s” are still hit and miss and come through trial and error. Here’s a couple of quotes from Abdul-Baha that may help you focus on the end goal:
“My meaning is this, that in every aspect of life, purity and holiness, cleanliness and refinement, exalt the human condition and further the development of man’s inner reality. Even in the physical realm, cleanliness will conduce to spirituality, as the Holy Writings clearly state. And although bodily cleanliness is a physical thing, it hath, nevertheless, a powerful influence on the life of the spirit. … The purport is that physical cleanliness doth also exert its effect upon the human soul.” and again
“External cleanliness, although it is but a physical thing, hath a great influence upon spirituality.”
2) When do I do all of this?
Determine a schedule, stick to it and work on other things around it. If it’s going to be Sat. morning for 3 hours, so be it! All hands on board, Mark and the boys need to chip in. You need to be the working captain! Have a list of things that need to be done that day. If you stick to it, picking toys off the ground is all you need to do during the rest of the week.
3) Assign Tasks
Give the boys responsibility: a little at a time – when they play during the week, make sure you help them understand, they need to put it away when they are finished . Their job on Sat. morning will be to put their room in order – maybe their weekly chore can be taking the sheets off their beds, vacuum & dust their room, even fold clothes from the dryer. Their daily habit might be to help mom set the table, make salad, clear the table & even wash dishes. Teach them how to do a thorough job (you’ll have to be patient here
4) Do deep cleaning once in while only
Clean fridge, exterior of cupboards etc. may need once in a month, whereas carpets (especially if you have pets), curtains, windows etc. need to be done at least once a year. Don’t try to do everything everyday, every weekend etc.
5) Learn from good examples
If you like something that someone is doing, ask them how they do it! In turn, your kids will learn from your good habits, they often observe and repeat behaviour. So don’t obsess over things and show your stress, just do it.
Kids love order (as you mentioned, as soon as you clean they destroy: this shows that orderliness inspires them to be creative with their toys!) and they love schedules, so take advantage and make it fun!
6) Love it!
If you leave it, no one will do it, so go ahead and enjoy it! It’s good exercise and you get a sense of accomplishment at the end of it. Reward the little ones for good job: milk shake, pbj sandwich, frozen berries are all good snacks.
It’s still a challenge for me but I try to stay on top of it so it doesn’t become overwhelming.
Hope this helps.
love always,
m.
March 31st, 2010 at 9:02 am
wow Martha, those are so many really great suggestions. I think I do need to set some routines so we all know what to expect. you’ve given me so much food for thought!